suburban kamikaze

Teaching your teenager to drive is like having your very own teenage chauffeur. Only you'd have to be insane to get into the car with a teenage chauffeur.

Teenager Land would be the worst theme park ever. It would cost a fortune and none of the rides would work.

Whoever guessed "Where did you put the Ritz crackers?" in the Teenager's Mother's Day Greeting Contest: You win.

It's not as hard as people think to get teenagers to cooperate. It's just really, really expensive.