Should you? Should you just chill-ax? How can you be sure? Chill-ax. The teenagers are here to help with this simple guide to stress management:
Out of gas at 7 a.m. and you need to get to work.
Chill-ax. There's plenty of time. Probably.
Out of gas at 7 a.m., you need to get to work, AND you discover the same person who left your car on empty in the driveway left a pile of fast food wrappers on the passenger seat.
Chill-ax. They were going to clean it up. Or else it wasn't them.
Out of gas at 7 a.m., you need to get to work AND the same person who left the car on empty and the passenger seat covered in fast food wrappers, ALSO forgot to return your debit card and "borrowed" the last of your cash.
Chill-ax. Why do you always have to make such a big deal out of everything?
Out of milk at 2 a.m. and you really want cereal.
OMG. Seriously? Do. Not. Chill-Ax. What is the POINT of even buying cereal if you're just going to RUN OUT OF MILK? Literally, this happens every single time. How hard is it to keep enough milk in the house for ONE BOWL OF CEREAL??
Locks on the door are changed when you get home and a bag of your clothes (unlaundered) is on the front steps.
If one of your friends won't take you in, Chicago provides many shelters for homeless people (such as you are now) and anyway it's summer. Not like you'll freeze.
Posted by: Suburban Sheepdog | July 28, 2014 at 08:30 AM
That is so much better than my plan. I was just on my way out for milk.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | July 28, 2014 at 02:12 PM
Oh is THAT what I'm supposed to do? Chill-ax?
I'm sorry, that just doesn't compute.
Posted by: Gigi | July 28, 2014 at 02:48 PM
Clearly you forgot around whom the world revolves. ;) All others should just chill-ax.
Posted by: Sarah B. | July 28, 2014 at 04:42 PM
Surrender, I believe, is the essence of chill.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | July 30, 2014 at 05:11 AM
There is nothing that chill-axes me more than how I feel directly after I have spanked a teen around the room. It's the technique my mother used. Grab wrist tightly, spank child on rear in a circle. Two-three rotations ought to do it. Like I said, it makes me feel better. Then I come back, what do you like better, a spanking at your age or filing the car with gas? And BTW, you didn't leave me ONE french fry on the front seat!?
Yeah but hey, you handle it the way you want.
Posted by: Audubon Ron | July 30, 2014 at 06:26 PM
On the bright side, they are always up for a french fry run.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | July 31, 2014 at 05:06 AM