There are no close calls in Teenage Fashion Court. Deliberation is actively discouraged.
COUNSEL FOR THE DEFENSE: "Members of the jury..."
TEENAGE GIRL JURY FOREMAN: "Guilty. All counts. Also, those shoes are hideous."
Sometimes I get a ruling before I even know there is a case pending. This happened recently when I combined what I mistakenly thought was a fashionable pencil skirt with what I erroneously assumed was an acceptable sweater and wore them with ankle boots I incorrectly believed pulled the outfit together. Compounding my offense, I added a vintage-y pin under the could-not-have-been-more-wrong impression that I was accessorizing.
I could not have been more wrong.
GIRL: OhMyGod. Take that off.
ME: Really? What about the ...?
GIRL: Get rid of it. Now
ME: But what do you think of...?
GIRL: Yeah. That's a no-go.
It was a no-go. I changed my clothes. I also recently got rid of a pair of jeans after the girl communicated with me, via eyebrow, that they were hideous. But there is a limit to how much fashion advice I am willing to accept from someone who draws hearts on the back of her hands with a Sharpie.
For one thing, her dictates can be awfully narrow: All jeans must be skinny jeans. All skirts must end above the knee. Everything I do with my hair is wrong.
Also, there is a price to be paid for her approval. Wardrobe components of which she approves most enthusiastically tend to disappear. I get points for my taste in hats, shoes, coats and earrings, which we are now sharing under a system in which they have all been relocated to her room. Or possibly the basement? She may have left some of them in the car. They are around here somewhere.
from the SK fashion archives: The Underachiever's Guide to Accessorizing