At some point today, in between items 9 and 73 on my to-do list, I am planning to dig a few Halloween decorations out of the basement closet and throw them onto the front steps in a slapdash, last-minute attempt at seasonal decor. For the children.
If history teaches us anything, it is that - all profane protestations to the contrary - I will be going to the mall today, despite the fact that this is unreasonable, ridiculous and not particularly relevant to her costume theme.
But apparently, there is no other way to make a cat costume work. I know this now because the look she gave me when I suggested that any of the 45 pairs of black leggings she already owns could serve the same purpose - made it clear that a skater skirt is the difference between a cat costume that works and a cat costume fail.
Then, if I manage to accomplish nothing else, I will dig my skeleton hand wine goblets out of the cobweb covered boxes and pour myself a glass of something cheap and red. I may also pull out the remnants of the very tiny, very adorable cat costumes the children wore so many years ago and get a little nostalgic over a giant pile of Twizzlers.
It is a very sorry excuse for a holiday effort and I would apologize, but I know that you are only here for the cats.
Photo: My neighbor has a giant fucking cat.
from the History has Taught us Nothing archives: Tinkerbelle is so last week
from the costume bin: Hallowhat?
Hmmm, I had to look up skater skirt. Cute! Also, WTF with that GIANT CAT. *shudders*
Posted by: Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food | October 31, 2013 at 09:22 AM
I had a feeling it would be cute.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 31, 2013 at 10:43 AM
Interesting.
Although I have made my living, lo these 35 years, by wielding the English language, I had no idea -- until I read this entry and then did the Google image search necessitated by the blessed facts that I have only sons -- that "skater" is a synonym for "dangerously short."
I will now, as I do whenever a new word makes my happy acquaintance, do all I can to employ this new meaning of the word three or four times in the coming week, so as to fix it into my ready lexicon.
Hmmm.
"Thanks to his skater safety harness, the construction worker doomed."
"The time between now and the deadline to obtain health insurance under the ACA is skater, considering the trouble with the website."
Etc.
Posted by: Suburban Sheepdog | October 31, 2013 at 10:54 AM
I also had a feeling it would be short. I'm just not really seeing the cat here.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 31, 2013 at 12:53 PM
SK, your comment invites such a reflexive and yet galactically vulgar response that I will 1. not make it (we are talking a bout a CHILD here) while being 2. fully confident that you will know what I mean because . . . newsrooms.
Please don't hate me.
Or call the authorities.
Posted by: Suburban Sheepdog | October 31, 2013 at 01:58 PM
Yes, well. She is a product of the newsroom. On the bright side ... okay, there really is no bright side there.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 31, 2013 at 07:13 PM
I have returned to provide pithy and sardonic comments. No need arguing with yourself. You can argue with me again.
You're welcome.
Posted by: Audubon Ron | November 01, 2013 at 09:14 AM
Thank god. I can never remember which side I'm on.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | November 01, 2013 at 01:54 PM