But which day?
I came home from BlogHer13 last night, tired, inspired and carrying sex toys in my luggage, just like last year. But the conference was in Chicago this year, so I didn't have to do a lot of tricky logistical planning like getting to the airport or synching myself up with the time-space continuum.
When the alarm went off at way-too-early this morning, I knew it was time to resume my schedule in the non-blog world, where nobody texts you at 3:45 a.m. to ask why you left the party early, and there is not nearly enough champagne vacuuming.
I got up, got ready for work and drove to the office, resigned to the prospect that it was going to be a very long Monday. I could not have been more wrong.*
My first thought was that I wasn't the only one coming off a crazy weekend; the parking lot was completely empty.
I would like to tell you that I figured out my mistake before I unlocked the office door, but I can't because at the conference on Friday I told a roomful of bloggers that, much like a tax return, humor writing is better when the underlying facts are unembellished.
Photo: Champagne vacuuming. This really happened. Plus other stuff. More later.
*It was Sunday. Technically it would have been more wrong to have imagined it was going to be a really long Tuesday, or Wednesday or even Thursday, but that is an example of a rhetorical point, which is not subject to the same standards of accuracy.**
**I point this out merely to give you a small taste of the wisdom I shared during the humor writing panel, where bloggers Georgia Getz, Krista Burton and Elizabeth Jayne Liu said things that were actually useful.
They also made me laugh so hard, I forgot what day it was.