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The best gift is a hand-made Mother's Day card, sent from overseas -- not because of the card itself, but your ability to fan it smugly while your coworkers and friends complain that their grown kids didn't even call. And an added bonus if another mother wells up when you show it to her. Straight from my mother's lips, sweartagawd.

Suburban Kamikaze

Seriously, you shouldn't have...


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