The boy and I are in New Orleans to visit a local university where everything is covered in Mardi Gras beads and smells like crawfish. It's awesome, frankly, and I briefly consider enrolling myself instead.
But, as the result of a bad decision many years ago by Richard Nixon, the boy's father and I have not managed to save enough any money to pay the ridiculous cost of room, board, books and tuition at our local beauty college, let alone Crawfish U.
The boy has earned some scholarship money, but there's still what might be called "a gap," or less euphemistically, "a shortfall," or in academic terms, "a magna cum big fucking hurdle" between what we have and what we need.
The financial aid counselors have been extremely helpful, pointing out the various organs we are still young enough to sell and noting that if we were to sell our house and all our possessions, we could pay off our college debt by moonlighting for no more than a few years.
But they don't call it The Big Easy for nothing. I haven't even started drinking yet when I stumble into a witchcraft shop somewhere in the French Quarter, where two practitioners tell me my troubles are over.
All I have to do is purchase the right spell, light the incense and say the magic words three times. Then I have to come up with $20,000 to $30,000 a year over the next four years. Needless to say, I jump at the opportunity.
Photos: Top left, crawfish remains on the French Quarter, making magic at Esoterica Occult Goods on Rue Dumaine, and a beaded tree on the Tulane University campus.
Well, if THAT's all I need to do; count me in.
Posted by: Gigi | April 25, 2013 at 03:19 PM
It makes the most sense of all the options that have been described to us so far.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | April 26, 2013 at 05:49 AM
Funny, just got the first letter from what I assume is the same college today, for our HS sophomore...I am trying very hard to not influence her decision by saying, "BUT THEN DAD AND I COULD STAY WITH YOU FOR JAZZFEST!!!" with middling results.
(Did your son end up there?)
Posted by: Nancy Davis Kho | March 06, 2014 at 07:32 PM
He did not. He decided on a more expensive school, farther away. In hindsight, I can see that it was probably a mistake to wear my Mardi Gras beads during the campus tour.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | March 07, 2014 at 05:53 AM