Ordinarily, we here at SK Enterprises Ltd. Inc. do not subject our readers to the kind of drippy sentimentality that parenting can inspire if you are not vigilant.
We recognize sentiment as nature's way of trying to distract you from the fact that 18 years of your life have been stolen in exchange for some lame poetry and a macaroni necklace.
But the truth is, I am wearing my macaroni necklace today. Except that in South Florida preschools, where my children made their necklaces, they are made with seashells because the fashion standards there are much higher. Also, the humidity would cook an actual macaroni necklace while you were still wearing it.
My point is, two longtime Friends of Kamikaze, including the one who is most responsible for the fact that there even is such an "organization," even if it is rather loosely organized and largely unregulated, recently did the math for me: our boys are very close to leaving home.
The clock is running down on my time as the live-in mother/personal assistant/transportation and meal coordinator to Boy, Esq.
So Christmas, a time of year that I have labored diligently to overlook for more than a decade, has acquired a quasi-sentimental gloss this year.
By this time next year, the boy will be halfway through his first year at some prestigious university and we will be living in a cardboard box trying to pay for it. So maybe this is everyone's last Christmas in a house with real walls. Oh god.
If I am not careful, I am going to find myself baking cookies.
Photo: SK, in a rare moment of sentimentality/usefulness, sprinkles a collection of elementary school arts and crafts across the tree, which is already dying.