We knew we had them scared. But when the girl and I challenged Team Executive to an Appalling Christmas Sweater Throwdown last year, we figured we'd have at least a little bit of a fight on our hands.
They are big talkers in the Executive household. There was no sweater so revolting that they wouldn't have the jingle balls to wear it in public, on airplanes, at concerts. Wherever. Bring it on, they said - underestimating our reserves of cruelty.
And we did, handcrafting two Christmas sweaters so unrelentingly awful you could not have worn them to a Midwestern PTA fundraiser without shame.
But in the 12 months since we presented them with the sweaters, we have received only a single photo, of the Executive Suburbanite at a South Florida Thai restaurant, wearing her appalling Christmas sweater and surrounded by a group of her closest friends. Yawn.
We are not impressed. Her daughter has yet to be seen anywhere in public in the 3D blinking reindeer-headed sweatshirt we created especially for her.
We had expected an album of photographs by now, depicting our sweaters in iconic South Florida landscapes: under palm trees, in alligator-infested swamps, with old Cuban men playing dominoes, with sunburned German tourists on the beach.
Did we go too far? Was it one bell over the line? Who knows? But it may be time for the Christmas sweaters to move on. Or at least get invited to a really cool party somewhere.
from the cable knit archives: Traveling, unraveling: a Christmas sweater update
You'd think they were afraid or something. They should be thankful. Thankful that, considering the climate, you didn't create for them 3-D blinking reindeer head BIKINIS instead.
Posted by: MommyTime | December 10, 2012 at 09:50 AM
They are afraid. The girl and I play to win. Especially when the stakes are sparkly.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | December 10, 2012 at 11:20 AM
I think they want a rematch. I saw them in Target the other day buying glue guns and Santa heads...
Posted by: nthnglsts | December 10, 2012 at 05:19 PM
There is no place in the Midwest you couldn't wear something like that.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | December 13, 2012 at 07:23 AM
We are merely bored by these reindeer games. Talk about yawn.
Posted by: Executive Suburbanite | December 18, 2012 at 09:37 AM
We are happy to accept your surrender. Over a case of red, maybe? I think I hear the UPS man now.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | December 18, 2012 at 12:12 PM