This week in Other People's Emergencies:

First Place: Girl Kamikaze for "I need you to take me shopping for shoes to match the dress I may or may not wear to Homecoming." Degree of Urgency:  It's Homecoming! Also she is apparently the last girl on the planet without The Perfect Shoes.  

First Runner Up: Boy Esq. for "I need you to talk me through the process of finding the collander as you drive to work, because the pasta is almost ready and I can't find it. Also, after you tell me it's in the dishwasher, I will need you to tell me whether the dishes in the dishwasher are clean or dirty even though you are in the car and I am standing right next to it."  Degree of Urgency: The pasta needs to be drained Now. Also, he is Starving to Death. Again.  

Second Runner Up:  Mr. Kamikaze for "I need you to come to the basement and hold this bucket under the pipe while I test whether water is going to spray out all over you as I make some plumbing adjustments."  Degree of Urgency:  None whatsoever. The bucket in this scenario is just a prop to enlist my cooperation.

Comments

[MommyTime]

Can I be third runner up for "I need you to do some laundry because my new sweater doesn't match anything that's clean in my closet and I'm too lazy to figure out something else to wear besides that sweater, which is practically an outfit on its own"? Degree of urgency: No one wants a badly dressed teacher standing in front of class.

Does it change me all the way up to Super-First Place if the reason I need you to do some laundry for me is that I already did eleventy-three loads this weekend, and folded them all, and cleaned up all the piles of dirty clothes lying around, and if I have to do one more load of laundry, my head will explode?

[Audubon Ron]

Fool. That water in the basement will spray all over you. You will look like a wet dog standing in the rain before it's over. He will look at you and say, "Huh?" - like he didn't know.

You girls fall for that "hold the bucket under the leaking pipe every time".

[Suburban Kamikaze]

It's like you were there. He pretended not to notice that my hair was dripping and the bucket was dry.

Mr. Kamikaze did eleventy-three loads of laundry this weekend and was completely baffled by the basket full of dirty laundry that appeared about five seconds later. It's a phenomenon I have been describing for years, but no one ever listens to me. It's magic. But not the good kind.

SK