It doesn't sound like a question, but it will require an answer.
"This," she says, "is the best solo in the whole song."
"Totally," I agree. It's not that I don't have an opinion. It's just that I don't care.
But I have overplayed my enthusiasm. Now I will be called on it.
At 14, the girl still believes in things like taking a stand. But especially, in forcing someone else to take a stand.
Someone like me, someone like me, someone like me... "We're not getting out of the car until you decide," she says.
"I wasn't listening that carefully," I say, practically inviting her to start the song over just as we are pulling into the driveway.
She starts the song over just as we are pulling into the driveway.
I weigh the effort of resistance against the inevitable. I can argue, I can dissemble, I can stall. But I will have an opinion. It's just a matter of time. And she has all the time in the world.
No one is getting out of the car until we have reached a verdict: Which One Direction member turns in the best solo in the group's cover of Use Somebody?
Harry sings. He's been roaming around, looking down and he could use somebody.
Louis adds his thoughts: He could also use somebody.
Then Niall sings something and it's almost over.
I'm ready now, I'm ready now...
"Harry," I say.
"Really?" she says. Insincerity is grounds for a do-over, so I will need to defend my choice.
"I like the way his voice rises on "use." I say. Please, god, let it be enough.
The correct answer, it turns out, is Niall, but she will also accept Harry because he is the cutest.
I have to agree. No, really. I have to.
Me? Well I don't have an opinion. And thankfully, I don't have anyone around to force me to have one on this subject.
Posted by: Gigi | September 10, 2012 at 03:19 PM
There is no end to the controversies under debate in Girlandia. But there are so few right answers.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 10, 2012 at 04:08 PM
They ripped off the Kings of Leon? OMG. What happened to making up your OWN songs? Tell her the answer to her question is Anthony Caleb Followill!
Posted by: nthnglsts | September 10, 2012 at 07:46 PM
Ah, taking a stand.
Just last night, I told my girls I wanted them to go out for middle school basketball. (They need something productive to do after school instead of watching YouTube.) They argued, they pleaded, they flat-out refused to try out for the team.
I stonewalled them.
Not getting anywhere, The Deuce tried a new tactic: "You're always saying we need to stand up for ourselves -- I'm standing up for me. Now."
My response: I've never encouraged you to take a stand. You're ALWAYS taking stands -- against ME.
Posted by: Jess a.k.a The Apathetic Parent | September 11, 2012 at 03:38 AM
Still, it was a very nice parry. Just the right amount of drama. "I'm standing up for me." That might have thrown a lesser parent. I'm wiping a tear away as a I type this.
And yes, the Kings of Leon version is the best solo. But it's not the kind of thing you could say out loud. Not around here.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 11, 2012 at 04:56 AM
If you want to embarrass yourself, ask your middle school nieces if they like NEW Direction (because you're old and feeble minded and forgot they are called ONE Direction but still fancy yourself Cool Aunt Who Is Up on These Things) and watch them sweetly attempt to stifle their eyerolls and pity.
Posted by: Dawn | September 11, 2012 at 11:36 AM
Please. Pull yourself together. Never accept a middle schooler's pity. Cover your mistake by starting a rumor that the band is breaking up. Tell them it has been trending on Twitter for over 15 minutes.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 11, 2012 at 02:07 PM
at some point this week the back seat of my mini van asked who I liked better, Biebs or One Direction... there apparently is a right and wrong answer. Next time i'm using that twitter trending thing.
Posted by: Stephanie | September 11, 2012 at 10:48 PM
You are in a minefield there. Let's just hope rumors (now trending on Twitter: #sixdirections) that he is to be the band's sixth member, are true.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 12, 2012 at 05:32 AM