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Audubon Ron

Yeah, but you’re smarter than her, right?

And remember, after she goes to college and then gets married three times, and then moves 3,000 miles away to a guy who has a permanent job there, and after your other kids move away (like to Louisiana), and after your husband divorces you and after your dog runs away, and there you are, old, living alone, rotting and smelly bad like Lazarus, leaning against the bathroom doorjamb and staring into the distant bathroom mirror at the image of a broken woman like some tragic painting by Goya and sagging skin looking like fried SPAM, and the only person who will visit you is your insurance agent wanting to sell you a Medicare Supplement and the only gift you get from your kids for Xmas is the renewal of your Senior Tech Wanderguard subscription and new batteries for all your medical alarm devices hanging around your neck, and after the email from Veruca that reads, “Hi Mom, we all went to dad’s for Thanksgiving and had a great time, probably will visit him for Xmas too, did you buy that Medicare supplement?”, and the senior center you moved to looked a lot better in the brochure since you had no idea it was really a park for refurbished FEMA trailers, and after the only thing that kept you going, that dog-eared photo of Audubon Ron can be seen no longer as the chemicals have finally faded, Get.Out.Of.The Car!


Two words: Public transportation.

Suburban Kamikaze

That's brutal. Drop all references to mirrors and expand on the classical art theme and you've got yourself a pretty good blast of teen-be-gone.


Suburban Kamikaze

I am ashamed to admit that there is no such thing as public transportation for the distance we are talking about. I could probably see the roof of the school from the roof of my house.

Two words: Pushover mom.


Audubon Ron

You know I'm teasing which ya. :)

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