I am not one of those people who makes a big secret of my birthday. I have never understood the thinking of women who repel all attempts to celebrate this day as they get older.
Last time I checked, goading your friends and family members into taking you to the spa, buying you a Coach handbag or picking up your Margarita tab was not a cause of the actual aging process.
If it was, trust me, I'd be 150 by now.
My point is, my birthday is almost here again but I've been so busy I almost forgot to start compiling my Annual List of Suggested Birthday Tributes.
I know some of you will be thinking, My god SK, we haven't even finished making the payments on last year's list of Suggested Birthday Tributes, but last time I checked, I wasn't chairing the financial planning committee.
And here's the thing. When I opened my e-mail today, something jumped out at me that I felt instantly compelled to solicit as a birthday gift.
It's odd how many of those ridiculously ambitious Williams-Sonoma suggestions you can laugh off and then suddenly out of the blue, just because you have 15 deadlines and a back-to-school to-do list that looks like you are scheduling a shuttle launch, you are struck by a burning desire to make pie.
The next thing you know you are forwarding the ad for the Best-Selling Breville Electric Pie Maker to your husband.
"What is wrong with me that I totally want this?" I ask him.
"Borderline personality disorder," comes the reply.
I should point out that my husband has absolutely no credentials whatsoever in the field of mental health. Also one of my best friends happens to be a fully credentialed mental health expert and I'm pretty sure she would tell you that what certain people might refer to as "borderline personality disorder," other people recognize as simply "personality."
Or possibly just "disorder."
Either way, it's not going to stop me from living out my dream of creating delicious snacks and desserts in three easy steps.
Now I know some of you will argue, "But Suburban, you have never made a pie in your entire life." To which I can only say: Exactly. If the people at William-Sonoma - retailers of such culinary must-haves as the 5-star electric raclette maker - think I am capable, who am I to put it off any longer? Also, what exactly is a raclette? I might want you to make me one for my birthday.
Photo: Irresistible little pies: the Best-Selling Breville Electric Pie Maker. $79.95
from the gift registry/archives: Go ahead. Make her day.
I'd like to know which other "friends and family members" took you to the spa or bought you a Coach bag. Because I'm pretty sure it's just me who gets sucked into that.
Posted by: Executive Suburbanite | September 02, 2011 at 08:49 AM
Well it's not like I needed two Coach bags, is it? But there's plenty of room for everyone on the Spa Package sign-up sheet.
But really, you shouldn't have.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 02, 2011 at 09:06 AM
Almost better than an electric pie maker is a HOT pie maker, where hot is a descriptor of his physical self rather than his temperature. Less mess for you in the making, and way more fun to clean up afterwards.
Posted by: MommyTime | September 02, 2011 at 02:25 PM
OMG. You shouldn't have! When can I expect him? I think the Williams-Sonoma share price just took a dive...
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 02, 2011 at 04:16 PM
Soo, since you look forward to birthdays, which one is this? 50?
Posted by: nthnglsts | September 04, 2011 at 12:33 PM
If it was, do you think I'd settle for a stinking pie maker? That one we celebrate on an island somewhere.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 06, 2011 at 02:17 PM
For $79.95 I could have 8 mediocre pies or 4 really good pies, right now. I'm not proud. I strive for mediocrity when it's convenient.
I'll even give you one. Happy early birthday, SK. Have a pie.
Posted by: foolery | September 06, 2011 at 02:57 PM
Oh you shouldn't have, but it's perfect. How did you know?
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 06, 2011 at 04:06 PM
A few more rain storms and FL will be an island. I think we should start planning now.
Posted by: nthnglsts | September 09, 2011 at 06:17 PM
I was thinking of Shakespeare's island actually. A Men with English Accents theme. You know, very traditional.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | September 10, 2011 at 05:34 AM