Every childbearing A, B or C-list performer in Hollywood is available to help me make my own baby food, narrow the options in $600 strollers or juggle the demands of work and toddler care on $10 million a year.
It's not that I don't understand the importance of spreading the word when a former sitcom cast member has discovered a new diaper changing pad that she really, really likes. That's news.
But where the fuck is Courtney Cox Arquette when I am trying to get a 13-year-old out of bed or teach a 16-year-old how to drive without resorting to profanity? How many fucking Post-It notes does it take to get a teenager to remember an orthodontist appointment? What is the earliest you can begin drinking Margaritas on a school day? Why is there an empty milk container in the refrigerator? Am I the only one in the house who knows how to replace a roll of toilet paper? WTF Angelina? Am I completely on my own here?
Photo: There is no shortage of advice on how to wear celebrity baby shades, not that my niece seems to have caught on.