Greetings from Camp Too Many Kids, where another season has just opened with the traditional "breaking of the glass." It was just a drinking glass - nothing as dramatic as the 2009 Indoor Football and Pear Throwing Championships - but it is still early.
Summer camp is a beloved tradition in our posse in which one member gets to keep all of the children while other members languish in luxury hotels and exotic travel destinations. I get the nicest postcards!
This year's opening glass incident occurred in the driveway where the adorable teen girls known as the Whimsey Twins had set up a sunbathing station and mini bar and where our camp director had firmly recommended the use of plastic cups just moments before. Our campers, however, are sticklers for tradition.
Congratulations by the way, to whoever had Day 1, 2:16 p.m. Central Time in the broken glass betting pool! First blood, not coincidentally, followed at about 2:19 - just after the "no bare feet" directive was issued, and as tradition requires, ignored.
The injury, as always, was sustained by the older of the Whimsey Twins, a darling 14- year-old media executive whose capacity for finding sharp objects with her feet is unmatched.
She and her co-conspirator, 13-year-old Girl Kamikaze, show no interest in canoeing, archery or any of the other camp activities not actually offered here, but they have signed up for multiple spa sessions and a "Chicago Cupcake Tour," where they will eat their weight in cupcakes and then try to con me into taking them shopping for shoes.
The 16-year-old boys, on the other hand, have spent pretty much every minute so far visiting Camp Teenage Girls Across The Street. I do not even remember when I saw them last. Also, I have never enjoyed them quite so much.
But I know better than to be lulled into false security. At some point they will return, demanding money, Pop-Tarts and bacon and filling the house with the smell of their dirty socks.
We'll be ready.
from the Camp archives: How to Feed Four Teenagers for Two Weeks for Under $1 million from the Whimsey Twin archives: Putting the "pool" into "pool table"