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My challenge: to avoid elevators for the next 15 years. Shouldn't be too hard out here in Bumpkinland.

Suburban Kamikaze

Yes, but the teenagers can still find you. They have an uncanny ability to sniff out Pop-Tarts, currency and your will to live.


Cactus Petunia

Sorry to have to break it to you, but it lasts well beyond the teens. The only way to avoid it is to take the stairs. On the plus side, if you keel over someday from taking the stairs, they might feel a twinge of guilt.

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