"Celebrity-approved products for Mother's Day"
This offer comes to us from William A. of BlahBlahBlah Public Relations:
"Hi There -" he writes,
"I know it's only March but I wanted to reach out and offer you the opportunity to shill some of my clients' tenuous-celebrity-link-products as potential Mother's Day gifts.
"I'm not offering to pay for this promotion, because that would make it seem like advertising. We are looking for something that looks more like your endorsement, which we are also not offering to pay for because that would make you look like kind of a whore. This way you just look kind of a sap."
I am paraphrasing a little.
"Besides, what could be more fun than writing about some kind of meal delivery service apparently used by JLo, Sarah Michelle Gellar and someone else named Constance Zimmer!
"Or the luxury stroller pushed by Ali Larter, Kelly Rutherford and other people you've never heard of but who have undoubtedly put these buggies through their paces in a series of tests supervised by an independent, accredited consumer product testing agency!
"Hah! We're just kidding about the product testing, of course. But seriously, what else do you need to know about something called The Original Baby Bullet other than that someone famous owns one?
"Looking foward to hearing your thoughts." - Will
Well, Will, I'm wondering who thought it was a good idea to name a product "the baby bullet"? And what does it even mean to be celebrity "approved"? Would more people read my blog if it were approved by Ali Larter? Also, who is Ali Larter? Does she even read my blog?
Photo: Artist's rendering of Ali Larter, who may or may not approve.
From the Shit I Didn't Try to Sell You archives: Eggs are awesome, Tom Sawyer, public relations
Hell yeah, you get Ali on here and I'm yours for keeps. Who is Ali Larter - what a question.
And don't be replying with something like, "All the more reason not to have Ali approve my blog, Ron."
Posted by: Audubon Ron | March 29, 2011 at 12:31 PM
There's got to be a place where you can post the real thing in its entire glory. It would be a public service.
Posted by: Executive Suburbanite | March 29, 2011 at 01:02 PM
Yeah except where does it end? Next thing you know I'll be expected to perform public service on a regular basis. Haven't I got enough to do with figuring out who the fuck Ali Larter is so I can get her to approve my blog? Like it's not enough that Constance Zimmer is a fan? Sheesh.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | March 29, 2011 at 01:18 PM
I have received no offers at all to compromise the integrity of Suburban Sheepdog with such shameless commercial pandering.
Hmm, aren't there some celebrity endorsed guns out there?
Posted by: Suburban Sheepdog | March 29, 2011 at 06:47 PM
A few more vigilante beauty queens and you will have the makers of those adorable little pink handguns crawling all over you for the opportunity.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | March 29, 2011 at 07:44 PM