Veruca Salt is sitting at my desk googling limousine service.
"Look at this," she says, showing me what looks like the inside of a casino, but which is in fact, the inside of something called "the party bus."
There is a stripper's pole in the middle of the floor. "Um, Veruca darling?" I say. "You are turning 13. We are not planning a bachelor's party."
"We" are not actually planning anything. Veruca is always so far out in front on this annual event that my input is nearly irrelevant. That doesn't mean I don't throw out a few suggestions, for futility's sake.
"How about I take you and a friend out to dinner and a show in the city?" I say.
"In a limousine?" says Veruca. "Because we could fit eight friends in a limousine. You could come too. It's only $39 a person."
"What is 8 x 39 Veruca?" I say. "I will give you a clue. It does not contain the word only."
But Veruca will not be discouraged. She will have 15 or 20 other party ideas before the weekend is out. You only turn 13 once, she reminds me. It is the same argument she has used every year.
From the extravaganza archives: Sleepover Divas, Stocks rally to reports of sixth-grader's birthday repeat
Assuming you are referencing the C&theC Factory character who was so very unlucky in her choice of squirrels and not the Chicago-based Alt-Band
I think you should widen your perspective and find out where she wishes to take 8 12-13 year-old friends in a limo...perhaps if you limit the accessible area to anywhere 8 friends on bikes can go you will avoid having to sell Boy Esq. to finance this.
Posted by: nthnglsts | January 09, 2011 at 09:56 AM
Veruca Salt is the best name for an alt-band ever. Their album should be called "I want a pony now."
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | January 09, 2011 at 10:02 AM
Their best known song is actually Volcano Girl ---but "I Want a Pony Now!" is soo much better.
Posted by: nthnglsts | January 09, 2011 at 11:47 AM
You may want to consider yourself lucky that she considers you cool enough to be allowed to go along.
Of course it could have something to do with how most retailers require ID to process credit card purchases.
Posted by: Suburban Sheepdog | January 09, 2011 at 12:48 PM
I'm going with "cool enough." Because I am delusional like that.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | January 09, 2011 at 02:35 PM
Be your daughter.
Please stop feeding her. I can't handle knowing THAT is in my future.
Related: My kids get the limo on their 10th, before they're old enough to realize they'll want it on their 13th. Because I am that much of a bitch.
Posted by: Mr Lady | January 09, 2011 at 02:43 PM
You should offer her a squirrel. One that can tell a good nut from a bad. Now THAT is a good birthday present.
Posted by: MommyTime | January 09, 2011 at 03:00 PM
There was a local lady here who got arrested for buying a limo for her middle school kid's birthday.
Oh, and she also bought them a keg.
Stay strong, sister.
Posted by: Seriously, Jess | January 11, 2011 at 08:21 AM