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30 seconds might as well be 30 years in a teenager's mind... especially when there's XBox to be played and Facebook to update. Recycling is overrated anyway.

Asking mine to sweep the gravel off the front walk yesterday, I received the following feedback:


'Can't be done.'

'We tried!'

'The dustpan doesn't work!'

We are looking at the future of America.


"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Audubon Ron

Urban Dictionary: expiration chug.

"when someone drinks milk very quickly on the day of the expiration date
Person a: what happened to that gallon of milk in the refrigerator?

Person b: Oh, I gave it an expiration chug, so it wouldn't go bad.

Person a: Good thinking!"

It had to be done.

Empty container is a reminder to the purchasing department to buy more milk.

Suburban Kamikaze

1. And yet, they can operate six remote controls simultaneously.
2. William Goldman obviously knew his way around teenagers. That scene with the dentist in Marathon Man perfectly captures the teenager/parent relationship.
3. The purchasing department will not reward such behavior until the wine and/or olives run out.



'NEVER challenge a Sicillian when DEATH is on the line!'


It had to be said.

Suburban Kamikaze

Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why: so that every time your 13-year-old hits the repeat on the Justin Bieber...


Suburban Sheepdog

You know that you left out the second and third syllables, of course.

They follow "un" and the third syllable is "ing".

Try to watch that in future.

Suburban Kamikaze

That is the preferred pronunciation, certainly.


Executive Suburbanite

In teenager-land, the jug is not actually empty if it contains 10 or more drops of milk. Passing the 10-drop test allows them to say they are not the ones "finishing" the milk. At least there were no jars of dijon mustard or tubs of hummus blocking the view.

Suburban Kamikaze

Teenager Land would be the worst theme park ever. It would cost a fortune to get in and none of the rides would work.


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