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Audubon Ron

Metaphorically: You turn the charm on at your whim.

You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to visit once in a while rather than turn me off like static on a radio. :)


Metaphorically, you've just described the entire dating process..." Feigning interest in a countless array of 'objects' that do exactly the same thing."

Suburban Kamikaze

Do renovations ever end, metaphorically speaking?


Seriously, Jess

Feign interest in gadgets and tools? F--- that.

I head straight to the outdoor furniture section and feign interest in the comfy, beige lounge chairs.


My date always gives me a nice big bag of Twizzlers (pallet display on sale as you're heading to the checkout) or a bag of Eilleen's crap-tastic repackaged candy when we finish our date.
Wait. Does that make me a...

Suburban Kamikaze

Who wouldn't put out for Twizzlers?



I can't get past the fact that you take yourself a nice goblet of red wine to Home Depot. You are either one Klassy Laydee or totally brilliant -- because (at least in my world) a giant goblet of red makes it much easier to feign interest in almost anything.

Suburban Kamikaze



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