I don't like to brag, but my friend the Suburban Executive and I know a lot of really smart people.
We read a lot of books. We are capable of holding mostly coherent conversations with people about things like credit default swap option derivatives and tort reform. One of us has a degree in mathematics for chrissakes! The other one thinks this is ridiculous but is not in a position to make this argument because her degree is as relevant in today's economy as the ability to construct the perfect metaphor for ending this sentence. As if! LOL!
My point is, when we took it upon ourselves to dissect the sex education issues facing us as parents of teen-age girls, we were capable of reaching some clear-headed consensus on a few key issues which I will distill here:
1. We are way cooler than our mothers when it comes to sex, so the likelihood that our daughters will be comfortable coming to us for the kind of clear-headed, practical, well-researched advice that we can provide in spades ... cannot be described in whole numbers.
2. The likelihood that they will find our collection of sequined thongs on the other hand, is a multiple of guaranteed.
3. When we describe ourselves as "way cooler" than our mothers, we are being ironic mostly.
4. Irony is not as useful as you would think in the parenting of teen-age daughters.
5. We have no idea what we are doing. The new Michael Lewis book is no help at all.
6. We hardly ever even wear our sequined thongs anymore.
7. The jury is still out on the Pomeranian method.
8. I saw something somewhere about a book. I forget what it's called.
9. Maybe we should just ask our moms.
from the Sex Ed archives: How to Explain Sex Toys to Your Children On the Spot, Without Panicking, Obfuscating or Careening Wildly in the Shoals of Too Much Information
I am completely sure I am cooler than my mom. I was also completely stumped when my 5 year old changed the constant refrain "HOW does the baby get out?" to a new and inspired, "Wait, but how does the baby get IN?" So I'm guessing that I will be a mess when they hit puberty too. Send tips. Or book titles. Or good vodka.
Posted by: MommyTime | April 22, 2010 at 05:29 PM
Tips and book recommendations...
I knew I was forgetting something.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | April 23, 2010 at 07:21 AM
I'm so afraid my kids will tell my when they do it. I really don't want to know. Ignorance is a mother's best friend. Isn't that how the saying goes?
Posted by: Paulita | April 23, 2010 at 03:14 PM
You may be right. Then again, maybe confiding in you would be a sign that you've done everything right. And are being punished for it.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | April 23, 2010 at 05:02 PM