After a long dormancy during which the dandelions do not show their faces above ground and the grass is safely confined beneath a layer of ice, the battle against the forces of chaos must begin again.
There is no time to lose. Mowers must be readied. Teenage boys must be rousted from their beds on weekend afternoons by threat or by bribe.
Is it just their imagination or has the yard put on a few feet over the winter? Its sinister green reach stretches endlessly from fence to fence, threatening to wreck the best laid plans of 15-year-olds to remain on the couch until an entire season of South Park has concluded.
Is it any wonder they are afraid? Just look at the stuff that is cropping up all over the neighborhood...
Not even the most obsessively maintained yards are immune. Oh Alice!