Here we are just barely having escaped from last weekend's Emergency Parenting Quest, (the so-called "hoodie shortage") and another round of deadlines and adventure is upon us.
This one, as in so many EPQs, arises out of one of those inspired lesson plans in which teachers pretend not to realize that Dress Like a Character from History/Literature/Greek Mythology Day is really just Homework for Parents. (And who do we think we are kidding here with our use of the gender-neutral "parents"?)
Thankfully, this assignment falls during a week in which, except for the Clarinet Supply Checklist, Competitive Baton and Pom Pom Twirling class registration, Class Schedule Change permission slip, 450-page Math and Science Academy application, freshman English composition editing, Emergency Lunchroom Account Replenishment and an orthodontist appointment, I am relatively free.
Even so, there is no time to waste. We have less than a week in which to assemble an Andromeda costume for the sixth-grader's Greek Mythology Character day.
The Princess Andromeda, I learn from my lazy googling, is best known for having almost been eaten by a sea monster sent to punish her mother for bragging that she was hotter than the sea nymphs.
Andromeda is chained to a rock and offered up as a snack in hopes of appeasing Poseidon, who was really irritated by a mortal suggesting that she was even in the same league as a sea goddess. Oh no, you di'nt. At the last minute, she is rescued by a big strong man, they go on to have many children and she spends the rest of her life filling out permission slips and driving to soccer practice.
Not necessarily the most inspiring character in Greek mythology. But this is going to be the easiest costume ever.
Andromeda by Sir Edward Poynter (left) and Gustave Doré (right).