OMG! It's the first ever Suburban Kamikaze Giveaway. And just in time for the season of giving. How cool is that?
At SK headquarters, we are inundated with offers of free stuff. But despite the temptation of offers like free dental floss in exchange for an essay exploring the unique qualities of our dental floss, we have never come across one that felt quite right.
While it is true that we have, on occasion, agreed to write for as little as zero cents per word, we have not yet reached the point where we are willing to give away our sole marketable skill for waxed string.
It may come to that.
In the meantime, it doesn't seem fair that SK readers should be left empty-handed. Not that the gift of Not Having to Read Dental Floss Reviews is not uncommonly generous in the blogging world, but we wanted to offer something more personal. Something more in keeping with our theme, which is
Christ, It's Cold In Here. My Family is Driving Me Crazy. At Least There Are No Dental Floss Reviews.
My point is, this is your Lucky Day. One of you is going to win All The Stuff That is Currently Under My Couch. Exactly what this gift bonanza includes, I cannot tell you. The possibilities are beyond imagination, I assure you. But I promise you this: I am going under there for you. And whatever I find, it's yours.
To enter, leave a comment below describing what you would be willing to do for the opportunity to score free dental floss. Keep in mind that this floss is touted as "Reusable and Portable and packed in a credit card size carry-pouch to make our day-to-day life simpler." (This is what is known as a 'bad hyphen day' in the copywriting world and is not intended as an endorsement of haphazard punctuation or dental floss.)
Our panel of editors will select a winner based on originality, degree of self-abasement and, of course, punctuation.
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