Now Showing in the Gallery of Unheeded Directives

 

"Roll play" 2009
Mixed Media

S. Kamikaze 
  

Comments

[eurolush]

Is this a challenge?

Do you really want to see what's now known as "The Berlin Wall of Empty Toilet Paper Rolls"?

DO YOU??

No, I didn't think so.

(Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall...No seriously, Mikhail, I need your help.)

[Forgotten]

I could cover the toilet with those things and they'd just find a hole and try to pee through it. It's amazing at the "selective vision and hearing" that kids develop. They can't hear you tell them to pick up their toys but you rattle a potato chip bag from the other end of the house with the door closed and they will be through it faster than you can hide the evidence.

[Suburban Kamikaze]

I do want to see it. It's not really a gallery until you've got at least two pictures. We will name our new wing after you: The European Gallery of Unheeded Directives and Beer Hall.

SK

[Mr Lady]

YOU HAVE PEACH BATHROOM TILE.

[Suburban Kamikaze]

It's a 1940s horror show in there. But that's no excuse.

SK

[Sue]

I suggest you add to this gallery by super-gluing a loaded caulk gun to the wall directly behind the tp installation (to the left in the picture). Have it pointing dramatically to the missing caulk at the tubline. In my house I find that kind of Avant-garde creativity in home maintenance requests... gets me nowhere.

[Audubon Ron]

Yeah, what Mr. Lady said.

[Suburban Kamikaze]

Jesus H.
Did you all get accidentally redirected from Architectural Digest.com? All I have ever pledged here is crankiness and good punctuation. Now fuck off.

SK

[Forgotten]

Maybe you should have put a few more ornaments on there? You know, bright, shiny objects to distract from the PEACH TILE!!

[Sue]

You know what that peach tile needs? Flamingo bath tub stickies.
http://www.bath-toys.com/browseproducts/Flamingo-Bath-Tub-Appliques.html

[Suburban Kamikaze]

Are you kidding? I am buying those for the whole house! You really cannot overdo the flamingo theme.

[Sue]

Well, when you look at it a certain way, it makes sense. You get a little bit of the tropics in your house while also being able to make comments like "My use of flamingo bath tub stickies is an artistic metaphor for the Midwest - tacky AND safe".

[MommyTime]

That is the bathroom tile I grew up with, and I'll defend it to the end as wholesome and family sustaining.

Also? I wish I were clever enough to make sculptures of all the detritus left in the bathroom. We could start a Gallery of Detritus. Photos from under our couches would be great too.

[MommyTime]

Also, unrelated to this post but useful for future reference for Midwestern Parties of Much Festivity: you will like buyuglysweaters.com -- it really does contain fashion items that could serve you well at many different functions. And at such reasonable prices too! You're welcome.

[Audubon Ron]

Did you tell me to fuck off? I love it when you get sassy.

Happy New Years.

[Suburban Kamikaze]

It may have been a typo. Ordinarily I try to limit my use of profanity to the children.

SK

[otherhubby]

Must be some pretty wide butts in the SK household, judging by the dimensions of those rolls.

[Jess]

Yeah, I thought they were paper towel tubes at first. But I suppose the Kamikaze household has fully assimilated into Midwest living, thus consuming too many ham balls over the holidays.

[Suburban Kamkaze]

Damn. I forgot to make a hamball. Also? You people have no appreciation for fine art...

SK