You'd be amazed at what a body can accomplish on a diet of pizza and frappuccinos.
The 14-year-old, whose workout regimen until recently was fours hours a day of texting and television, is suddenly sporting six-pack abs and serious looking biceps. Overnight, practically, our skinny little boy has grown a man's body.
Which is useful for carrying in groceries and hauling up boxes of Halloween decorations from the basement.
But it is, I fear, the beginning of the end for another Halloween tradition in our family: the October mortgage payment.
Since they were no bigger than pumpkins themselves, we have always allowed them to bring home the biggest pumpkin they could lift. It was adorable, watching them as toddlers, straining under the weight of an affordable seasonal squash.
When they got a little bigger, we changed the rules to require that they also be able to carry it off the patch. Kindergartners are stronger than they look. It was getting expensive.
Still. You could budget for it.
We never imagined they would beginning training for it.
Earlier this year, the boy, whose previous interest in sports amounted to a couple of seasons of Little League and a high-scoring streak of iPod bowling, joined the swim team. His interest in food grew to include more than mashed potatoes. Next came the pull-up bar in his room. Now we are in serious trouble. Even the girl has been doing push-ups.
Classic photos. I just found out mine is eating pizza every single day at lunch with a Gatorade and this costs $5 a DAY. I thought school lunches were supposed to be cheap.
Posted by: Executive Suburbanite | October 19, 2009 at 10:13 AM
There is nothing cheap about teen-agers. Trust me, we are headed to the poorhouse. Whatever that is.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 19, 2009 at 10:29 AM
Ummm. Is this Superman doll from a Gay shop?
Posted by: CJ | October 19, 2009 at 11:20 AM
You should make them eat the pumpkins once Halloween's over.
I know.
Brilliant.
Posted by: eurolush | October 19, 2009 at 11:22 AM
I photographed Superman outside a ride at the Six Flags theme park, where we spent the November mortgage payment and where they take their superheroes seriously enough to render them anatomically... um, super.
Not a terribly impressive pumpkin however.
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 19, 2009 at 11:45 AM
So much for healthy school lunches. Why do they even offer Pizza and Gatorade?
Posted by: nthnglsts | October 19, 2009 at 06:36 PM
Maybe Eurolush has the right idea. Pumpkin and jelly sandwiches?
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | October 19, 2009 at 08:21 PM
You still have a mortgage payment?
Posted by: Audubon Ron | October 20, 2009 at 01:35 AM
Maybe it's time to switch up the traditions (yet again) with some new rules. Like, must be able to carry pumpkin out of patch with sibling attached to ankle. Or must be able to drive pumpkin home.
Posted by: Miss Spoken | October 20, 2009 at 09:20 AM
New rule: Every year, the pumpkin can be as big as (body organ of choice.) This year, I vote spleen.
Posted by: Mr Lady | October 21, 2009 at 05:14 PM