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Pat, the shopping has sapped all creativity so I'll take a 2nd (3rd) cosmopolitan and slur my way back to kindergarten for the 4th time.

Robert Kuntz

The Tardy Slip:

2 oz. vodka
4 oz. orange juice

Exactly the same as a screwdriver, but you drink the vodka first, then the orange juice shows up late and is poured into the empty glass.

Smoking in the Girl's Room:

2 oz Bacardi 151 rum
1 Bic lighter
1 Jolly Rancher candy

Pour one shot of Bacardi 151 into a rock glass.


Frantically blow out the flame and drink while giggling.

Suck on Jolly Rancher candy to mask breath.

The Old-Fashioned School Uniform:

2 oz bourbon whiskey
2 dashes Angostura® bitters
1 splash water
1 tsp sugar
1 maraschino cherry
1 orange wedge

Mix sugar, water and angostura bitters in an old-fashioned glass. Drop in a cherry and an orange wedge. Muddle into a paste using a muddler or the back end of a spoon. Pour in bourbon, fill with ice cubes, and stir.

Serve on blue plaid coaster.

Suburban Kamikaze

Three-Hole Punch, courtesy of the District 3.14159 Supply and Error Subcommittee:

1 and 1/3 can of frozen cranberry-raspberry concentrate. (If they don't have it at your local supermarket, check all groceries within a 25-mile radius.)

2 cans of water (Hah. I bet you think you already have water at home. Not that kind of water, the other kind.)

1 can of premium, triple-distilled #21 vodka. (Red label only.)

Mix all ingredients and add ice.*

*Other ingredients to be named later.



The Bad Report Card, Courtesy of My Scholarly Past:

1 shot Tuaca
1 shot Tequila
1 orange, juiced
1 lime, juiced

Fill a large drinking glass with ice. Pour in Tuaca and Tequila shots.
Pour in orange & lime juices.


Serve on a homemade coaster, made of folded homework your child has forgotten to turn in.


Seriously, Jess

The Teacher's Pet:

1 shot apple schnapps
1 shot vodka
12 oz. red bull

- - -

The Big Smash

1 bottle cheap wine

Pour out wine, then smash empty bottle over your head as you recall the ill-fated school-shopping trip where your 8 year old burst into tears because you insisted that buying 6 small glue sticks would be just as good as the 3 large ones that were on the supply list, but that were not available anywhere in the whole tri-county area.

Liz in Virginia

Playing Hooky

1. Drop all of your children off at school.

2. Drive immediately to the Macaroni Grill, Don Pablo's or similar for "lunch."

3. Order a pitcher of top- or bottom-shelf margaritas -- and "keep 'em coming."

Note: You say your kids haven't started school yet? What's your point?

writing online

i wonder what the taste of this drink like..it looks grouse to me.

Suburban Kamikaze

Wait. It looks "grouse" to you? And you are posting spam comments on behalf of a company that sells writing services?

I urge you to revisit your business plan.




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