America: Hot, cold, in, out, up, down and PMS-ing like a bitch... I should know. Uneasy about the economy but bullish on liquor, hoes, stain-removal products. Not crazy about co-workers or the boss, but fascinated by funny cat pictures and celebrity babies.
Just when you thought science couldn't get any more prescient, along comes two University of Vermont statisticians who say they've learned to read our moods. The New York Times: Does a Nation's Mood Lurk in Its Songs and Blogs?
How spooky is that?
That is so like you, scientific community. Just because we publish an online record of everything we're thinking, feeling, singing, eating or doing, you think you can come along with your "analysis" and your "data" and your freshly sharpened #2 pencils and somehow tell what kind of mood we're in? Fuck off. You don't know the first thing about us.
The clues, researchers say, are in song lyrics and blog posts, where painstaking analysis click reveals a record of our thoughts, our dreams, our petty aggravations and our zucchini bread recipes. It's like we are completely transparent. I don't know about you, but that is more than I am willing to share with the University of Vermont. Or at least anyone outside of Facebook.
Still, I am willing to concede, for the sake of science, the cultural artifacts to be mined from our iPods and our breastfeeding stories. You can' t listen to this week's number one song, for example, and not be struck by its defiant rejection of the economic indicators:
"Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it, let's do it. And do it, and do it, let's live it up. And do it and do and do it, do it, do it. Let's live it up. I got my money, my pay, let's spend it up."
And can this be coincidence? Drake is also bullish on loose women, and his song is number two:
"Baby, you my everything. You're all I ever wanted. We can do it real big. Bigger than you ever done it. You be up on everything. Other hoes ain't never on it ... I can spend whatever on it."
I'm not sure what the Vermont researchers will make of this, but Ben Bernanke's mood has gotta be looking up.
Photo: Do it and do it - The Black Eyed Peas are in the mood to spend it up.