What a year this has been for Chicago moms! Their teeth have never been whiter. They've unlocked the secret to killer abs and wrinkle prevention and they're earning upwards of $63 an hour working from home! Is there anything they can't do?
What accounts for this embarrassment of success, I cannot say. But the wisdom of middle age cannot be ruled out as a factor. I know this, because the women in these amazing success stories are almost exactly my age! It's spooky really, how they show up on the borders of my computer screen with their inspirational pitches for beauty and career assistance.
The ads become more insistent, the profiles more personal day by day.
"Chicago-area moms, ages 45-46.5, needed to respond to crassly manipulative advertising campaign now! You know who you are. Sitting there sighing with your glass of cheap red wine perched next to the keyboard waiting for the phone to ring so you can sell your qualifications to the 22-year-old editor of some crappy business-to-business publication whose Facebook page is probably decorated with tattoos. Or kittens. Finish your novel already! Nora Roberts has written 16 in the time it took you to come up with a title for chrissake! Wouldn't you like to have whiter teeth?
Photo: Chicago mom Dara Torres has unlocked the secret to killer abs.