She's 11 years old. How was I supposed to know that the world from about five feet forward had gone all blurry for her? Because she said so?
Finally, however, after months of watching her squint into the distance, I manage to winnow my to-do list down to the last 350 items and come across this one: Have the girl's vision checked, you moron.
Turns out she needed glasses. Stylish, two-tone frames and a whole new point of view. She looks fabulous. Everything, in fact, looks fabulous - a point she makes repeatedly.
"I can read that sign! I can see that!" she says. "Everything is SO clear."
She can hardly believe her eyes. I can hardly believe I am allowed to keep these children.