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Ms. Maxwell

I guarantee there's some newly minted marketing MBA named Skippy out there who is parading around carrying this product (in its packaging) to show off his prowess in writing marketing copy. If I see him reveling in his talent, I'll give him a kick in the nuts for you, too.

Royce Cutlass

…on so many levels.

a. You have a boyfriend? Does your hubby know that?
b. I’m HIP! I just bought a $10 tooth brush. Because I scan the store, I don’t read it actually so I ditched an Oral B in my cart with a vibrating head that is suppose to stimulate my gums. I had no idea what I did til I got home. I’m sure it can stimulate something alright. I only used it once because it also stimulated my nose bone out of joint.
c. Why in the name of sweet somebody are trash bags “SCENTED?” Somebody esplain that one to me.
d. A razor named VENUS?
e. If you cut yourself, that avocado is ALL over-it.


You know, it's because we paranoid Americans think we reek the minute we blink our eyes open in the morning. I remember being so puzzled as a girl as to what being "less than fresh" meant. I had no idea I was a moldy piece of fruit most days! Thank God for avocado-scented plastic handles. Otherwise, I'd be friendless.

Cactus Petunia

Avocado oil? A day at the beach? A sun colored razor? Good God, do they think we're that stupid? Oy!

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