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Audubon Ron

Did somebody say ducks?

Mr Lady

Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod. My kid will not be in 5th grade, ever.


Oh, come on, you know you don't have anything to worry about. You live in the wholesome midwest, where in spite of winters that feel like the freezing wrath of God, no one even thinks of anything naughty until they're 30. It's not like you're raising your daughter someplace decadent and tropical.

Well Read Hostess

This is so great. It reads almost like a photo essay. I can just see those images lined up one against the other.


My girls, twins, are in the third grade. A few months ago they announced they're "goth."

They've been asking for makeup, but the only thing I've allowed is black nail polish. (Leftover from Halloween 07.)

One has grown out of it and is now wearing pink again. The other hasn't - yet.

They tell me they're "pre-teens." I tell them they're "post-babies."

You have my sincere condolences.


Yup, that's totally the way it happens. Enjoy the ride.
--Mother of a 15-year-old
(and a 3-year-old)


Your essay and the one by Waldman made me laugh because I can identify, even without a daughter. The boy version of this is when you first find a cup and I don't mean coffee, sitting on the coffee table in the living room. Not so bad but I didn't notice it until the cops who were checking my house for burglars left. (yes we live in that kind of neighborhood) Subsequent discussion in the car on the way to school ended up in a talk about condoms and a "Mom sometimes you are so gross I can't wait for you to be completely senile!" "Completely" I wondered...


Oh yeah...welcome to my world. I'm watching The Powerpuff girs with my 13 year old and out the blue she says.."My friend (who's in 9th grade - high school) says they got a letter about a herpes outbreak at her school"

I'm NOT ready for this.

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