No lampshades were involved. There is that to be thankful for, I suppose.
But I did manage to push past the limits of my charm and my tolerance for California varietals on New Year's Eve.
Unfortunately, my house was full of the kind of people whose accuracy of recall is in the 98 percent range, even accounting for their own blood alcohol.
It is never a good idea to make a fool of yourself in front of journalists. People tend to believe them when they repeat the story of how you swore like a longshoreman and danced on the pool table. Even if it is only partly true.
And they will repeat it. In fact, the first thing they will do upon arriving back in South Florida will be to invite all your other friends to lunch solely for the purpose of repeating it.
And where in the story do you suppose, will be the part about the meticulously prepared hors d'oeuvres? The little meatballs, the Key lime shrimp, the goat cheeses, the tragically upstaged hamball? If they are mentioned at all, it will only be to speculate about how little you must have eaten given your performance on so unimpressive a quantity of red wine.
Even so, we will not be too hard on them. It's a brand new year. There will be plenty of time for recrimination.
Photo: Tragically upstaged hamball.
Hey, who are you calling a hamball?
Posted by: Audubon Ron | January 06, 2009 at 11:22 AM
Take two:
That hamball gives me THE SHIVERS.
Posted by: Mr Lady | January 06, 2009 at 12:05 PM
Only partly true? Did these South Florida journalists get their alcohol-soaked memories/facts mixed up? Does that mean you danced on a longshoreman and - what did you do to that pool table?
Posted by: Sue | January 07, 2009 at 12:26 PM
I like the addition of the palm trees and sea shell decoration. I know when I'm at the beach, the first thing I want on hand is a hamball.
PS- Those journalist friends of yours are just jealous they're not born-entertainers--like you.
We can't all be the center of attention.
Someone has to be the audience.
PPS- Those stories will build your repuation to that of mythic proportions.
In no time, you will be god-like.
I'll drink to that!
Posted by: EuroLush | January 08, 2009 at 09:00 AM
How I would love to believe that Eurolush, but trust me when I say it wasn't pretty. Sadly, I was a few drinks short of avoiding the next day's total recall.
Still, it was a lovely hamball.
SK
Posted by: Suburban Kamikaze | January 08, 2009 at 09:43 AM
I was sure you would entitle this "Faceplant in the Hamball" or that we would have at least a paragraph on why one should be cautious pairing most 1995 Vintages of Mike Ditka Beaujolais with Key Lime Shrimp... And lucky for you, we hid the lampshades long before the (ham) ball dropped. However we just didn't think to stash the er, longshoreman. No matter. Dr. Liz will sort it all out. As long as there were no pictures, I think you are fine. Perfectly fine...
Posted by: nthnglsts | January 09, 2009 at 11:22 PM