Star-Telegram columnist Dave Lieber and his 11-year-old son were eating at a McDonald's in Watauga Texas when the boy began to act up.
First came the demands. The boy wanted to go home. Dad was still eating. Who cares? Then there was the whining, the backtalk, the absolute refusal to just be quiet and let your father eat in peace for five minutes. Or something like that. Lieber called it "pushing his buttons."
Finally, Dad had enough. He got into his car and told the boy to walk the few blocks home. Someone called the police. According to news accounts, Lieber, who returned to the restaurant a few minutes later, was subsequently charged with two felonies - child abandonment and endangering a child.
Prosecutors wisely decided not to pursue the charges. That will not exempt Lieber from having to pay his legal bills or make up for the fact that he was briefly suspended from his job. He also had to endure a lot of unwelcome publicity, some of it accompanied by the moralizing of parents who seem to believe Lieber should have been charged with a third felony for taking his son to McDonald's in the first place. You can't make these people up.
I heard about Lieber's crime spree following a day in which I was fully prepared to abandon and/or endanger my own son, who at 13, could certainly teach Lieber's son a few things about button pushing.
Unfortunately, he was already in my car when I reached the boiling point, so I couldn't just drive off and leave him.
Not that I didn't try. I told him to get out of the car. He refused. I considered going around to the passenger side and dragging him out. But he is within a few pounds of outweighing me and I didn't want to set a precedent. If there is one thing I have learned in 13 years of parenting it is this: the amount of effort you expend to get your children to do anything is only 75 percent of the effort it will require the next time. If there is one other thing I have learned in 13 years of parenting, it escapes me at the moment...
I settled for stopping the car on the side of the road and haranguing him until he was ready to get out on his own. It was not a Great Moment in the Annals of Parenting, but at least I was not charged with any felonies.
But only because I do not live in Texas. So I have more than sympathy for Dave Lieber. I have a plan to help him defray his legal expenses. Guess whose allowance I will be spending?
Wow. It's child abuse to make a kid WALK? Oh, hell, I'm in deep then. Guess I better go pick them up from school today, huh?
Posted by: Mr Lady | October 17, 2008 at 11:52 AM
Look at it this way: If society doesn't crack down when someone leaves their misbehaving kid at a McDonald's, pretty soon everyone will be stuffing their kids through the driveup window instead of driving to Nebraska like responsible parents.
Posted by: Sue | October 17, 2008 at 12:42 PM
I'm thinking of starting a fund for a trip to Nebraska. My son is 12 and trust me, walking home would be the least of his worries.
Posted by: jean | October 17, 2008 at 01:39 PM
Wait a second... aren't there tons of younger-than-11-year-old kids walking home from school or from the bus stop every day?! Of course, I guess those kids aren't screaming at the window, "DAD DON'T LEAVE ME!" Part of me is glad that people are willing to make certain that our kids are okay, but...
I found your blog on All Things BD, and I'm glad I stopped by!
Posted by: Tiffany T | October 17, 2008 at 01:47 PM
Every parent at that McDonald's has been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt. They should have banned together and taught the brat the true meaning behind it take a village.
Posted by: Katybeth | October 17, 2008 at 05:09 PM
I live in Texas, and I know most parents in my neighborhood would APPLAUD me if I did that to my kid. As he walked by, they would probably pile on some lectures, too. If he's got a legal fund, I'm definitely contributing.
Posted by: all things BD | October 17, 2008 at 07:07 PM
"pretty soon everyone will be stuffing their kids through the driveup window" ROTFL Sue My question is, will a 13 year old fit through the typical drive thru window? (hopeful in FL)
Posted by: nthnglsts | October 18, 2008 at 09:31 AM
So teaching an 11 year old a life lesson is now child abuse? this world needs help. I was riding my bike two towns over alone by that age.
Posted by: Jennifer A | October 18, 2008 at 03:53 PM
so what do we do about them kids, then? my eldest is 10 and thankfully still thinks that mom is not kidding :-)
Posted by: Dinah | October 19, 2008 at 08:40 PM
I want to sit down and have a drink with Sue. I've got three kids I'd like to shove through the drive thru window from time to time too.
Posted by: Leanne | October 23, 2008 at 07:37 PM