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Mr Lady

Wow. WOW. I am SO buying that.


You are so right about the failure thing...because otherwise, how would any publishers ever sell any NEW parenting books if the old ones worked perfectly? If the one you're in has answers like these in it, though, I'm buying -- because at least it's honest.


"Carry out your threats and your children will respect you. Also, the house will smell better."

Wow. Who would have thunk? Awesome, can't wait till my teens come home and find the gypsies ready to take them away.


So when I say, "I'm going BACK TO WORK where people don't hate me," I have to mean it, huh? Wonder if I can hide a queen-sized bed in the break room . . .

Big congratulations for your book.

Rattling the Kettle

Very nice!

Madness Mom of 5

Carry out your threats & the children will respect you. But heres the thing .. what do you DO when your 13 year old looks at your 6 year old and says "she's not really gonna DO it".. even if you HAVE REALLY *DONE* it so many times before???


Is there a chapter on the pros and cons of medication? For the mom, I mean.

Audubon Ron


ok, where was I

It sounds as if you do not know what you are doing at all. LOL!!

My 6 year old used to say he was leaving. I'd always say, See ya! But it pissed me off when he'd mention moving to his father's house b/c his father is a loser. So once after he said this I told him to pack up. I was taking him to the orphanage. He was all, Cool! So then I had to tell him what that was--a place with no TV, no computer games, no fruit snacks, no blankets. And no lights on at night. And all the kids cry all day. So let's go.

I'm surprised these people didn't ask me to write something inspiring.

Congrats! I can't wait to read it.

Suburban Kamikaze

Chapter 2: Drugs, Orphanages and Gypsies. (Oh, and Mommy's Going Back to Work Just To Get Away from You.)

Pearls of wisdom from America's Mommies.


Bossy has met your children, and something you are doing is definitely right. But Bossy won't tell anyone if it helps the Humor thing along.

Suburban Kamikaze

Bossy is too kind.

I seem to recall one of them tromping around in eye shadow and rhinestone-studded spike heels and the other one chipping golf balls into the middle of the cocktail party...

Executive Suburbanite

I wanted to let the SK blogosphere know that SK routinely and with careless disregard for the truth deletes any of your comments she feels may offend any delicate sensibilities, despite her claims of being a "journalist" who could recite the First Amendment in her sleep and whose commitment to free expression goes so far as to allow her to let her preteen son read "David Copperfield." Just thought you all should know.

Suburban Kamikaze

It is the policy of this website to encourage the fullest possible range of expression without regard to sense or sensibility. Like the SEC, however, we reserve the right to police/edit the remarks of commenters trafficking in "insider" information.

That includes you, Mom.

And what is wrong with "David Copperfield" anyway?



Congratulations SK! Soon you will be the next David Sedaris. But with boobs. And no penis. Same voice though.

Suburban Kamikaze

And no book contract. Or apartment in Paris. But no shortage of material...

Thanks Ben!


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