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Our block parties are nothing like this! No one had sex on the swale? No one broke a beer bottle against the back fender of your car--two days from lease return? No one fell off your roof while trying to knock mangos off a tree with a baseball? No one nudged someone else's care into the pool? No one got arrested by men in riot gear? No one mixed their white russian in a coconut shell? No one had a repair and recovery party the next morning, free leftover beer in a cooler at 7 am ------only if you help clean up? Sheesh.

Robert K

Our last block party was an impromptu affair following Hurricane Wilma. (Willllmmmaaaa!!!) Sorry.

We all gathered in the street in the morning light as the winds subsided. At first we milled around and trading damage assessments:
"The mango tree is gone. Well, not 'gone.’ It’s in the pool.”

“Not bad. Except for all the roof tiles sitting on the front seat of my car. You know, the ones that came in through the windshield.”

Soon someone had a camp stove going to with two pots of coffee. Another neighbor was scrambling eggs. Turns out you can toast bread quite nicely – a dozen slices at a time – on a gas grill. Instant party.

The highlight was a visit from three guys – three guys NOT from the neighborhood -- slowly cruising the street in a battered van, obviously scanning for loot. Guess they didn’t realize the street is a cul-de-sac. When they had to come back up the street, they were met by a phalanx of about 8 neighbors – all of us armed like Blackwater military contractors in Baghdad – who blocked the road, surrounded the van and suggested to the fellows that they find an easier street.

Then it was back to breakfast.

Maybe that’s was wrong with SK’s and the editor’s block parties – not enough storm damage or firearms.

suburban kamikaze

Hurricanes do have a way of making your neighbors seem like people you should have gotten to know earlier... Like the guy down the street with the propane-powered percolator! The things under-caffeinated suburban mommies were prepared to do for that guy would make a groupie blush.

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