It is the last week of school and the teachers at Ain't We Got Fun Elementary have decided to make this the Most Fun Last Week of School Ever!
There are more celebrations and special activities than you would believe could possibly be shoehorned into 5 six-hour days. But those wacky, fun-loving molders of young minds are an ambitious bunch - and they are determined to pull it off - even if it kills them us.
Here is Our Schedule of Non-Stop Fun:
Monday: Crazy Twins Day!! Featuring matching outfits assembled/purchased for our favorite third-grader and her "twin" on Sunday night after Mommy is informed sometime after dinner that "We Have to Go to the Mall Right NOW so that I can BUY the same EXACT outfit as Emma, including SHOES!" Anything less than a perfect match spells a social disaster that could spill over into fourth grade.
Monday Afternoon: Crazy Tie Dye T-Shirt Day. Volunteer Mommies supervise the combination of three dozen 9-year-olds and five-gallon buckets filled with dye that will never wash out! This will take all afternoon, including clean-up. Save time for a second shopping trip though, because tomorrow is...
Tuesday: Pajama Day! Where We Get to Wear Our Pajamas to School, Only Not Any Pajamas We Currently Have in Our Drawers At Home, Because They Would Not Be Acceptable and "I Will Be the ONLY Girl in Third-Grade Wearing Stupid Pajamas." Narrowly avert serious fashion faux pas by purchasing pajamas that look remarkably similar to two other pairs already owned.
Wednesday: Combination Fun! It's Last Minute Dragonfly Costume Day, for a play that parents do not hear about until 9 p.m. the night before! But don't worry, there must be LOTS of things lying around the house with which to construct a realistic replica of dragonfly wings. What would Martha Do?
BONUS FUN: Early morning emergency wake up for Mommy who must be told that it is ALSO Crazy Hair Day! Today! Right now! Hair MUST be BRIGHT PINK and done up in an elaborate combination of swirls, braids and accessories. Can you make it go straight up? Not like that! Remember that pink hairspray left over from Halloween? It's SOMEWHERE in the house, or possbily the CAR. Did you check the basement? There's still time if you run.
Thursday: Tacky Day. Or as we are calling it in our house: "Put Together Any Crazy Outift You Want Provided You Already Own All of the Components and Have Them Laid Out Before Bedtime I Mean It."
Friday: Last Day of School Party. Elaborate Theme To Be Announced. Probably late Thursday.
Photo: (Mommy's going) Crazy Hair Wednesday
Great job poking fun at yourself for caving to all that B.S.
Posted by: Executive Suburbanite | June 06, 2007 at 08:28 PM
Yeah, um, Bossy's favorite end-of-year trend? The Class Gift. Bossy remembers a time when she used to haul some dumb-ass gift to her teacher, maybe. But now there's a COLLECTION for The Gift Certificate along with the DONATION for the new classroom rocker in addition to the CONTRIBUTION of hard cash for the assistant teachers and the assistants to the assistants. Not to mention the dumb-ass gift Bossy's kid still insists on hauling in... which doesn't include the school secretary, lunch lady, and bus driver.
Posted by: BOSSY | June 07, 2007 at 06:58 AM
(Please see previous post about gratitude to wife for bearing sons.)
But really, SK, look at that FACE. How can you deny anything to a child who is not only ten kinds of adorable but looks like your own tiny doppelganger?
Get the poor little dear some damned pink hairspray and some Hannah Montana PJs and quit whining.
Posted by: Robert K | June 08, 2007 at 07:19 AM
Great commentary on this little bit of suburbia. by the way, I didn't realize the third grade was so like the kindergarten, except we didn't use hair color, we used crayons tied into braids.
Posted by: JIm Raff | June 09, 2007 at 09:06 PM
Well, maybe I *should* consider home schooling my son. It sounds a lot easier than that nonsense!
Good luck next year!
Posted by: Denver Dad | June 12, 2007 at 06:02 AM