Algebra Bob turns fifty today
Or maybe last week
I can’t really say
But even as the years go by
His charms, they seem to multiply.
His assets only grow more prime
Despite the passing of the time.
Nothing subtracted that we can tell
His properties still distribute well.
On a scale of one to 10
He is a thirteen among men
Rounding up or rounding down
His equivalent cannot be found
Whole numbers of us all agree
There is no Bob equivalency.
Though we are not allowed to say it
There is no doubt it’s true
He is worth his weight in husbands
- and in some, his weight times two.
As a mathematician he’s first class
His figures they are stunning
(His angles complement his ass
It must be all that running...)
And so to sum up I will say
There is not room enough to pay
His tributes fully or reveal
Even a fraction of what we feel
Our love for him is too acute
To be reduced to a square root.
We leave you with this small finale:
Give our regards to your Aunt Sally.
© 2007 P.M. Dunnigan/Suburban Kamikaze