The Vila
Good: Make her laugh.
Better: Make her laugh while you are wearing a tool belt low on your hips.
A Sure Thing: Make her laugh while you are wearing a tool belt low on your hips and building more closet space for her shoes.
The Royale
Good: Suck blood from her fingers in the shower.
Better: Suck blood from her fingers in the shower while wearing a tuxedo.
A Sure Thing: Suck blood from her fingers in the shower while wearing a tuxedo over your rock-hard Bowflex body.
Great Scot
Good: Grow your hair long.
Better: Grow your hair long and learn to joust.
A Sure Thing: Grow your hair long, learn to joust, arrange to lead an army into battle against England, succeed brilliantly and return quoting Renaissance poetry in the original French.
French Kiss
Good: Take an interest in what she is reading.
Better: Take an interest in what she is reading and add some French to your vocabulary.
A Sure Thing: Take an interest in what she is reading, add some French to your vocabulary and become a dark-eyed Parisian bookseller with a gift for applying Band-Aids.
The Sting
Good: Add a long black Versace coat to your wardrobe.
Better: Add a long black Versace coat to your wardrobe and wear it over your rock star biceps.
A Sure Thing: Add a long, black Versace coat to your wardrobe and wear it over your rock star biceps while strolling the grounds of your English country manor.
Photo: How the well-dressed man showers.
Bossy would settle for a tool belt worn slightly above nasty ass crack. Really, as long as there are home repairs involved.
Posted by: BOSSY | April 05, 2007 at 10:35 AM
This post has a very Lisa-like quality about it...
Posted by: nthnglsts | April 06, 2007 at 11:44 AM
She was inspirational.
Posted by: suburban kamikaze | April 06, 2007 at 02:00 PM