Another birthday has come and gone and not only am I still passing for 49ish, but I get to celebrate it every month.
That's because my lazy and uncreative friends keep renewing my membership in the Suburban Alcoholic Wine Club. Sure, every year they talk about coming up with something a little more original, but then it's all, let's open another bottle of wine and talk about it some more and then before they know it, my birthday is practically here and they've got nothing.
The result is that, month after month, for going on months now, a handsome UPS man shows up at my door bearing bottles of wine. At least I imagine he is handsome. He always seems to come when I am not home. And sometimes he just leaves a little sticker on the door that says "We tried to deliver your wine, but you were too busy working, so we're going to drink it ourselves in the back of the truck."
Q. Why can't my friends arrange for my wine to show up when I'm actually at home?
A) They're lazy. B) They are completely uncreative.
This is their idea of a birthday card:
Let me know if you see any glitter anywhere on there, because I certainly don't.
This is their idea of a birthday gift:
It was delicious. I paired it with Cheez-its because I was too lazy and uncreative to make dinner.