Some people will tell you that birthdays are a time for pause and reflection, for taking stock of your goals and reaffirming a commitment to meeting them.
These people should not be invited to your birthday party.
Other people will tell you that birthdays should be celebrated with cake and ice cream, candles and singing. These people are nine years old.
I say this not to suggest that there is a right and a wrong way to celebrate a birthday, even though, duh. I say this because some people could use a little help when it comes to Turning 50 Without Succumbing to Decorum, Other People's Stupid Ideas or Visible Signs of Aging, Even if it Means Spending the College Fund.
I agreed to host somebody's 50th birthday party recently, but only on the condition that NOBODY would sit around and talk about parenting. Because at this point, haven't we all had enough really? I don't want to hear about what the PTA is doing any more than I want to hear about your colonoscopy. Please, people, it's a dance party. Also, the skinny part goes in the back. Sheesh.