1. So that thing where you scribble all over a piece of tape with a Sharpie and then leave pieces of Sharpied tape everywhere? Stop doing that.
2. That thing where you take the tape out of my office and leave it somewhere else in the house and then when I am looking for it you say you don't have it? Yeah. Stop.
3. That thing where you tell me exactly how you want your lunch made and then just when I've finished arranging the olives and slices of brie you realize, Oh wait! I don't need a lunch today, but I'll eat it later, but then you don't and a month later it's still in the back of the refrigerator? Kinda stinks.
4. That thing where it's 10 o'clock at night and you keep calling me back into your room to tell me something really, really important and you swear this is really the last time and I fall for it and then when I get there you tell me about how those guys in One Direction made this video diary and girls got to send them questions and then somebody asked Louis .... and then Niall was all like .... and then Harry said something and then blah, blah, blah?
That is actually kind of interesting. Yeah. I am just kidding.
5. That thing where you hijack the iPod dock in the car because you want me to hear one song, just one song, and then you swear you'll put it back to something we both like and then you play like 30 songs in a row except for the one that I say I like and that one you cut off after 15 seconds because it reminds you that you have this other song that you know I'm going to love? You never even told me the name of that song.
6. That thing where I say, you're going to need a jacket and you say no I don't and I say, yes you do and you say nothing until we're halfway to school in the car and then you say can we turn around because I forgot my jacket? Not cool.
7. That thing where you come into my room at 11 o'clock at night and wake me up to tell me that you are reading a book about anti-gravity and you can't put it down and then you wait for me to start laughing because that is your signal to begin the rest of your Bedtime Comedy Hour even though I have to get up at 5:30 the next morning? Was actually pretty funny. Until the alarm went off. But then it was funny again the next morning when dad said did you read in the paper about the guy who got his left side cut off? And you said is he all right? And then we all laughed because we have this stupid weakness for puns? Still. Could it wait until I am not sleeping? Whatever. Keep doing that.
Photo: Host of the long-running, late night Kamikaze Family Comedy and Pop Music Hour that begins right after you fall asleep and ends whenever it ends.