So yeah. I've got nothing. I'm not going to make any excuses.
But if I were, I'd make them in the form of a top 10 list, like this:
Top Ten Excuses for Lack of Fresh
9. You have no idea how many times a day I am interrupted by teenagers who just-this-minute realized they are in urgent need of a haircut. Why the hell are you in my office at 11:30 a.m.? Didn't high school used to last all day?
8. New Daniel Craig movie trailer has me rethinking my short-term goals.
7. Effort to master all 854 French verb tenses has left me, how do you say? - struggling, with the English.
6. New editor expects all of my sentences to make sense, read forward and backward.
5. Opening of margarita season has people dropping by at all hours expecting restaurant quality cocktails. Hello? Do you people think limes just grow on trees?
4. Last week of school + first week of sun = last chance to read Hemingway on the deck before it snows again.
3. New issue of Scientific American Mind: What was I thinking? I haven't even finished old New Yorker.
2. Discovery of Finnish consulate in my neighborhood reminds me that I have not yet finnished my novel. Or the laundry.
1. Last day of school only 15 minutes long. House filling up with teenagers. Must explore Finnish asylum opportunities.