2. You actually take the time to do the College Board's Official SAT Question of the Day. You totally rock at language arts, by the way. Not that the editorial department at Playboy Enterprises Inc. seems to care.
3. You write back to the First Amendment organization guy who didn't even think it was worth his time to call you for an interview and who sent you a rejection e-mail addressed to "Beat Reporter Applicant."
Dear First Amendment Organization Person:
Thank you for taking the time to update me on the hiring process. I know how anxious you must be to fill this position. I don't know how you can sleep at night knowing that you have writing like this on your Website:
"April showers are supposed to bring May flowers, but at a local public school and at two of our nation's leading Catholic universities, academic freedom is under attack, threatening the Spring knowledge bloom."
Ack. Seriously, you need to fill that job yesterday. Also, my name is not "Beat Reporter Applicant."
Embarrassed for You
4. You almost send it.
6. You are actually spending time in your teen-ager's room.
7. You are teaching yourself to solve quadratic equations because Charles Seife's book "Zero" has made you desperate to understand the mathematical constructs behind String Theory. Not that the people at the University of Chicago seem to care.
8. You are kicking figure skating ass in your edge class, because while all of the other skaters are busy trying to pass second grade, you are racking up some serious ice time. Not that the people at Sports Illustrated seem to care.
9. Your last two writing assignments paid off in wine and Nordstrom's gift certificates.
10. You have started putting your byline on the grocery lists.