She is so busy that she couldn't even find the time to run out to Brookstone and buy a giant remote control for her husband's 40th birthday.
She was forced to improvise. She came up with this: She promised to have sex with him every single day for a year.
Personally, I would have had the kids glue something together with popsicle sticks and glitter paint. You can't go wrong with children's arts and crafts for last minute gift ideas.
But for whatever reason - maybe she was out of craft glue or maybe she just panicked - Charla went for broke.
It might have ended there. Charla Muller could have reneged. Assuming her husband is not a contract lawyer, she could have tried to impose terms after the fact. She could have simply put out day after day after day, and kept it to herself.
But no. Charla Muller decided to write a book. Now the rest of us will spend the rest of the summer subjected to an endless conversation about how many times a year everyone else is having sex. Like sexual slackers Annie and Douglas Brown, who managed only 100 straight days of domestic relations before throwing in the sticky towel. But still managed to score a book deal.
I don't know about you, but this idea makes me want to have sex like the Ernest Shackleton expedition makes me want to go on a cruise.
Muller describes her year of sexual profligacy as "a really meaningful lesson." Ouch.
Who does not cringe for Mr. Muller upon reading that?
Douglas Brown says the experience left him with "less of a sense of having to perform."
Really Douglas? Because complete strangers are now going to be asking your wife if you are any good. And we will know if she's faking it.